[Zenyatta hovers, as he typically does, and nods his head as well.]
You have my thanks once more, for meeting with me.
[Nearby on the ground, wrapped in a worn red cloth, is a sleeping Aadarsh. Next to him is Yumi, also napping. He's babysitting both of them for the time being.
Zenyatta lowers himself to his feet, actually winding up standing taller than he was while hovering.]
I do not like to keep secrets... but I felt this conversation might be better to have between the two of us.
[A beat of silence.]
Whomever killed Mondatta is someone who is in a very dark place. Something I would not wish on anyone. Perhaps if I met them, I would feel anger.
... I miss my brother dearly. We have had our disagreements as well, to the point I left the Shambali. I have occassionally thought that perhaps, if I had stayed, he would not be dead.
But dwelling on that thought is not something he would want for me. There is no good in mourning for so long. Not when there are much better things to make use of myself for.
As Zenyatta takes a seat on the ground, legs crossed and hands out, his orbs begin to rise and rotate in a large circle above them, to light the cave in a soft glow. It's a little better than the darkness they had previously been in. There is plenty of space, of course, for Hanzo to join him in sitting on the ground.]
I would have rathered to do this in the field... but nature does as it pleases.
[Of course, one can't tell if Zenyatta has his eyes closed or not, since he doesn't ... really have eyes. But the glow on his forehead dims slightly, which might indicate some form of "resting" at least.]
We work with what we are given. Sometimes we find shelter. Other times we must brave the storm ourselves. Both are formative, in their own ways.
[ For someone who wanted to meditate, he sure is talking a lot. ]
But if we do not appreciate the clear days for what they are, then when can we? Spending time only in preparation for things to come, it is a shame to miss out on what else can be seen.
[ He knows this is lingering dangerously to being a "lesson" but he can't help it. ]
[That earns a little more of a frown. It is getting dangerously close, and his ire raises slightly, as if he is steeling himself in preparation to growl and snap like an untamed beast, untrusting of strangers.]
People who have moments to enjoy their days are either fools who walk blindly into the next day, or they have good fortune to be ignorant.
[ Yes, it is getting dangerously close. Usually, this is where he'd try a bit of humor to lighten things up, but that won't work with Hanzo. He'll just get more upset. ]
I suppose I am a little of both, then. I am not regularly under duress, or fearing for my life. I have people who would help me, should I ask for it. I can afford to be a fool with good fortune.
[ Oh wow it's almost like those are things you have going for you too, Hanzo. ]
[For a moment, he does think to himself bitterly ah, yes, you do have people who would help you. Genji would undoubtedly rush to his master's side with but a simple request, and there are other good-natured people here who would do the same.
But isn't it blind to assume that Hanzo does not have some of that now? There are people who call him friend here. Trust him. Even knowing his worst, most disastrous mistake, they trust.]
[Who indeed. No one here, apparently; everyone is eager to forgive, despite his great sins. Genji, most of all, knows of them. Others may know of the man who attempted to slay his little brother. The remaining know nothing.
And there is more. Always more.]
I will.
[Hanzo glares at him, frowning.]
I know that he has forgiven me. I know that you, Jesse, and Tracer welcome me. There are others who have assured the same.
[ Glare at him all you want, he's got his ocular receptors offline. Listening to the echos of the cave, the quiet drips of water from within and then the wind outside, is refreshing. Even if this conversation isn't. ]
Do you want for atonement? Do you want to be told you will never be forgiven? Do you want destruction entirely?
He wants to ensure that Genji can return home, and wishes the same for miraculously many others. He wants to take back the last ten years and undo what had been done, but that is impossible. He wants the moments he steals in holding Jesse's hand, Luffy's ridiculous laugh, Riza's competenece, Olivia's gentle demeanor--
Weeks ago, he'd have welcomed his destruction. His death. What he utterly deserved for what he took from Genji. Now, he--]
Once.
[The words are strained. Angry, but still softer than most of what he's said to Zenyatta. The anger is at himself.]
I don't know.
[All his life, he'd been so sure of many things.
But as divine as a dragon is, it is not infallible. Cruelly, he knows that.]
[ Once, but not anymore. He doesn't know what he wants, rather than a stubborn adherence to something he knows he doesn't. That's progress, in Zenyatta's book.
Finally, Zenyatta turns to Hanzo, looking at him. He notes the quieter voice, but how the rage is still present. It's subdued, but still there. He's reminded so harshly of Genji, it's a little painful.
In a more mild tone: ]
There is no shame in not knowing, and there is no time limit in which you must find your answer. But you will find nothing new, if you do not look with different eyes.
[ ...Damn, he was doing so well not to let the metaphors and lessons slip in!!! ]
[It is progress to admit as much as this to anyone, especially Zenyatta. The reasons for his discomfort with the monk is entirely selfish, and he knows it, but the emotions remain untamed like his anger.
Hanzo had wanted to never be forgiven. To let Genji be angry. To fall in battle, an honorable way to die for his brother's memory. There was a part of him that desired this for so long.
Now, there are other things in his life, and there is still a part of him that says it's wrong to have them.
He listens for a moment.
Then the deep scowl returns at Zenyatta's last words. Hanzo stands up swiftly.]
Quaint words, monk.
Despite everything, I know what I see with my own eyes! You cannot possibly know what it is I see. [How I feel.]
If you do not know, then never presume what I am thinking!
Know your place, fool!
[It's unreasonable. He'll realize it later. For now, all he can see is rage, fire in his eyes as he turns and takes his leave, anger pounding in his heart.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
we're gonna do it HERE.
Besides, he found himself wanting space from McCree anyone.
after being unreasonably snappishHanzo stands at the mouth of the cave that Zenyatta is in, and pauses. He frowns to himself before offering a small, polite bow.]
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You have my thanks once more, for meeting with me.
[Nearby on the ground, wrapped in a worn red cloth, is a sleeping Aadarsh. Next to him is Yumi, also napping. He's babysitting both of them for the time being.
Zenyatta lowers himself to his feet, actually winding up standing taller than he was while hovering.]
I do not like to keep secrets... but I felt this conversation might be better to have between the two of us.
[A beat of silence.]
Whomever killed Mondatta is someone who is in a very dark place. Something I would not wish on anyone. Perhaps if I met them, I would feel anger.
... I miss my brother dearly. We have had our disagreements as well, to the point I left the Shambali. I have occassionally thought that perhaps, if I had stayed, he would not be dead.
But dwelling on that thought is not something he would want for me. There is no good in mourning for so long. Not when there are much better things to make use of myself for.
... Does this answer satisfy you?
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Despite himself, he can comprehend the idea of not getting along with one's sibling.
The answer does not synchronize with him. He closes his eyes for a moment, and he lets out a low growl.]
No.
[A pause, then a little more quietly:] I don't know.
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... You are no stranger to meditation, yes?
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I learned to meditate when I was a boy.
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I will not meditate. [It comes out like a bark, irritable, but not necessarily at Zenyatta.]
But I will sit with you.
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[Close enough.
As Zenyatta takes a seat on the ground, legs crossed and hands out, his orbs begin to rise and rotate in a large circle above them, to light the cave in a soft glow. It's a little better than the darkness they had previously been in. There is plenty of space, of course, for Hanzo to join him in sitting on the ground.]
I would have rathered to do this in the field... but nature does as it pleases.
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He closes his eyes finally.]
Few things can be tamed, weather among them.
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[Of course, one can't tell if Zenyatta has his eyes closed or not, since he doesn't ... really have eyes. But the glow on his forehead dims slightly, which might indicate some form of "resting" at least.]
We work with what we are given. Sometimes we find shelter. Other times we must brave the storm ourselves. Both are formative, in their own ways.
[ For someone who wanted to meditate, he sure is talking a lot. ]
Are you accustomed to storms, Hanzo?
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The question makes Hanzo snort.]
My dragon is of the storms. So yes, very.
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[ Zenyatta hums a note, and then returns to silence. ]
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In his heart, he knows the truth. He's always been accustomed to storms, prepared for the worst.]
Perhaps.
[Hanzo's hands grip his knees a little more tightly.]
The days in which it is clear are the days to prepare for storms.
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[ He knows this is lingering dangerously to being a "lesson" but he can't help it. ]
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People who have moments to enjoy their days are either fools who walk blindly into the next day, or they have good fortune to be ignorant.
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I suppose I am a little of both, then. I am not regularly under duress, or fearing for my life. I have people who would help me, should I ask for it. I can afford to be a fool with good fortune.
[ Oh wow it's almost like those are things you have going for you too, Hanzo. ]
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But isn't it blind to assume that Hanzo does not have some of that now? There are people who call him friend here. Trust him. Even knowing his worst, most disastrous mistake, they trust.]
I should not afford such luxuries.
[Not can't. Not won't. Should not.]
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Who will judge?
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And there is more. Always more.]
I will.
[Hanzo glares at him, frowning.]
I know that he has forgiven me. I know that you, Jesse, and Tracer welcome me. There are others who have assured the same.
But I do not agree with them.
[He doesn't know that he ever will be.]
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Do you want for atonement? Do you want to be told you will never be forgiven? Do you want destruction entirely?
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He wants to ensure that Genji can return home, and wishes the same for miraculously many others. He wants to take back the last ten years and undo what had been done, but that is impossible. He wants the moments he steals in holding Jesse's hand, Luffy's ridiculous laugh, Riza's competenece, Olivia's gentle demeanor--
Weeks ago, he'd have welcomed his destruction. His death. What he utterly deserved for what he took from Genji. Now, he--]
Once.
[The words are strained. Angry, but still softer than most of what he's said to Zenyatta. The anger is at himself.]
I don't know.
[All his life, he'd been so sure of many things.
But as divine as a dragon is, it is not infallible. Cruelly, he knows that.]
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Finally, Zenyatta turns to Hanzo, looking at him. He notes the quieter voice, but how the rage is still present. It's subdued, but still there. He's reminded so harshly of Genji, it's a little painful.
In a more mild tone: ]
There is no shame in not knowing, and there is no time limit in which you must find your answer. But you will find nothing new, if you do not look with different eyes.
[ ...Damn, he was doing so well not to let the metaphors and lessons slip in!!! ]
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Hanzo had wanted to never be forgiven. To let Genji be angry. To fall in battle, an honorable way to die for his brother's memory. There was a part of him that desired this for so long.
Now, there are other things in his life, and there is still a part of him that says it's wrong to have them.
He listens for a moment.
Then the deep scowl returns at Zenyatta's last words. Hanzo stands up swiftly.]
Quaint words, monk.
Despite everything, I know what I see with my own eyes! You cannot possibly know what it is I see. [How I feel.]
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Peace, Hanzo.
You are correct. I do not know what you see. I will not, unless told. I apologize if it sounded like I implied otherwise. It was not my intent.
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Know your place, fool!
[It's unreasonable. He'll realize it later. For now, all he can see is rage, fire in his eyes as he turns and takes his leave, anger pounding in his heart.]